Changing My Identity Changed My Life (And It Helps You Lose Weight...)

Written By Timothy Walcott

Some of you already know part of my story.

Some of you don’t.

I started coaching people on their health and fitness about 7 years ago in 2017. Things have changed a lot for me since then. And if you go back even farther, things were way different before I ever started coaching.

A lot of people may see my life now (or at least what I post about it) and think it’s always been like this. I’ve had many people tell me that they assume “fitness people” (I guess that’s me) have it all together. That’s why we’re coaching people, presumably - we know all the answers and have it all figured out (we don’t).

The truth is that I’ve had a lot of problems, mostly self-induced.

I went to Humber college in Toronto in 2011. Didn’t really care about school. Enjoyed partying, a little too much. Got kicked out of my dorm building on my 20th birthday after two weeks in school and barely managed to stay enrolled in my program. Three semesters in I dropped out anyway, never graduated. Went to a drug counselor then almost booked a trip to rehab in Costa Rica (I still have the sticky note my counselor handed me with the name and address of the place).

This went on for about 3-4 more years. Lots of drugs, late nights, strange people, and hoping the ATM showed $40 left in my bank account to get a half gram of coke.

Eventually I hated my life more than I hated myself, and then I started changing for the better.

It started with less drugs, then less cigarettes, then less booze.

Then I added in the gym again, then better food, then inspiring resources like podcasts and books.

Before I knew it, I had a new addiction. But this addiction was a better option. I was training regularly, eating well, dreaming of big ideas, envisioning a new life that I respected, and doing the hard work of healing (at least in the ways I knew how to).

I wasn’t perfect either - there wasn’t a hard line cutoff into “clean living”. I partied all the way through recovery. I was hungover for MANY workouts the next day. But I was there working out at least.

Some people find it hard to straddle the line between the party lifestyle and living healthy. Probably a good thing to be honest. But at least being ok with straddling the line of both worlds temporarily can help keep you on the path. It’s very common for people to give up and throw in the towel when they “screw up” once and feel guilt, shame and embarrassment.

I think this is important to understand because a common expectation is that you decide to change and then BOOM - you’re changed.

When in reality, that rarely happens. It’s more of a gradual shift that may have been motivated by a spark but ends up being super clunky, messy and far from a clean cut.

This is echoed in fat loss as well. Or any healthy lifestyle shift really. So many people expect it to be easy, simple or consistent. When it’s actually all the things I just described - clunky, messy and lots of “screw ups”.

My point of sharing this is to show you that it wasn’t even that long ago that I was in a very different place. I vividly remember thinking that I was meant to be that way forever.

Eventually, I was able to overcome those challenges through small imperfect steps everyday. Accepting that the journey was going to be clunky, messy and far from perfect helped me stay the course. Understanding this and not having unrealistic expectations for change made it easier for me to keep moving forward.

There’s a lot more to me than the story I just told you, but it’s an important part of my life. Blessed to be where I’m at now, thanks to my family, friends and God.

What I just described was a pretty significant identity shift I went through. Identity shifts can be hard. Really hard.

I see my clients struggle with it all the time. Especially the ones who’ve been “heavier” most or all of their life. They see themselves a certain way. They believe certain things about themselves. They tell themselves certain stories that make change very challenging.

“I’ve always been fat so I will probably stay fat.”

“I’ve always been the misfit so I will never be accepted by others.”

“I’ve always struggled with my weight so maybe I’ll never look the way I want to.”

“It seems so easy for other people so maybe it’ll never happen to me.”

I told myself for many years that I was destined to be a loser. But that was just a story I told myself. It was only true as long as I believed it.

Living with a victimhood mentality is a guaranteed way to never change (and be miserable the entire time). This is what I was doing too - thinking “poor me” instead of controlling what I could and challenging my own self-limiting beliefs that I held onto for so long.

I truly enjoy seeing clients make these types of shifts within themselves when losing fat and changing their body. Because despite the common misconception, losing fat doesn’t come from a meal plan, a training program, or some magic supplement.

It comes from changing their mind. Changing how they think. Changing how they perceive the world and themselves.

Changing your body requires an identity shift. A massive one. And for some people, it’s the scariest thing they’ve ever done.

But it’s so worth it. And as a coach, it never gets old to witness.

Much love,

Tim


Timothy Walcott
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